Love Happens
by Life Gives You Lemons
Summary: Sometimes love happens even when you don't want it to. Edward's younger brother is getting married, and his other brother is close to popping the question. Edward, however, doesn't believe in love or marriage. He comes to Jasper's wedding with one goal in mind, nailing the bridesmaids...but then Bella Swan shows up, and things get complicated.


**Love Happens**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

******GRAMMAR NAZIS PLEASE READ: I'm apologizing in advance for any mistakes you may find in my story. Please don't bite my head off for a missing punctuation mark or an accidental misspelling.**

Now that we've got that out of the way, you are about to read my version of Ghost of Girlfriends Past.

Please turn off all cell phones, and put on your 3D glasses…it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

**Thank you, and enjoy :D**

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**Chapter 1**

It was impossible for I, Edward Cullen, to fall in love. Love was comfort food for the weak, you see. They needed it to make them feel like there could be more to life than just casual sex, but I, Edward Cullen, am one of the rare lucky ones who have been blessed. I've been given the gift to see the world as it really is instead of indulging in these fairy tales and fantasies the morons around me soak up like a sponge.

Sadly, my brothers—Jasper and Emmett—were included in this pitiful category. They were both fools, blind to what the world really was. Then again, most people were.

I gave up on both of them a long time ago.

Anyway, my younger brother, Jasper, was getting married. He'd fallen in love (note my sarcasm). Her name was Alice Brandon, and she was practically a mental patient. She took the term bridezilla to an entirely different level than the crazies on TV.

"Rosalie, if the roses aren't white, it will completely ruin my entire color palate!" Alice began practically hyperventilating, almost in tears over the ridiculous matter.

Rosalie Hale, Emmett's girlfriend of two years, looked at a total loss as to what to do to calm the insane asylum escapee. Even she could see how nutty Alice was acting. I glanced at Jasper who was also trying to comfort Alice. I wondered if he really didn't see how insane this all was.

"Alice, they said they could get you pink roses. They'd still match the decor," poor Rosalie tried to calm her.

Alice closed her eyes, laughing like she just might decide to bludgeon us all while we slept. "Rosalie. This. Is. My. Wedding. Okay? Everything has to be perfect...and I want white roses! Jesus, doesn't anyone care about what I want? Am I the only one who actually cares about this damn wedding!?" she cried, running from the room.

_Huh, I never realized what an ugly crying face that girl had…_

"No, Alice, honey! Wait!" Jasper called after her, quickly running after his deranged bride.

What the hell? Fuck, I was so glad I was never going to have to go through this shit. I was never getting married. Willingly subject myself to this fucking PMS circus? And then enter into the depressing, archaic institution that is marriage? No way in hell was that ever going to happen to me.

Some people were afraid of getting fat. Some people were afraid of spiders. I was afraid of marriage, chaining myself to one crazy woman for the rest of my life.

But, there was one upside to this whole wedding thing. Alice had some hot bridesmaids.

Shit, Tanya was bending over again. I leaned back slightly to get a better view of her round ass. Fuck. I'd have to ride that ride again...and soon.

"Enjoying yourself, Edward?" came a voice from behind me.

I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Tanya's ass and turned to see Emmett, my burly bear of a brother. I hadn't seen him in a while, but he was still the size of the Hulk.

He looked at me knowingly, raising an eyebrow. "I see some things never change," he said.

"As they shouldn't," I replied, glancing one more time at Tanya's backside and smiling my infamous crooked smile at him. That smile had gotten me out of more trouble than I could remember.

He laughed, hugging me. He nearly lifted me off the ground as he patted me on the back with his huge hand. "It's good to see you, brother."

"Yeah, you too. You and Rosalie still together I guess?" I asked, grimacing.

"You could at least try to sound pleasant about it," he remarked.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know how you and Jasper live. I mean, every night I swim in a lake of sex...and you two go home to the same old broad to nag you about dishes and laundry," I laughed, shaking my head in pity. Poor bastards.

Emmett laughed, but somehow part of the humor didn't touch his eyes. "One day you'll settle down, too, Edward," he said, trying to sound light about it, but I could see the seriousness in his eyes.

I scoffed. "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? I don't think so, Em."

"Whatever, Edward. So, where is the happy couple anyway?" he asked, scanning the room.

"Happy couple?" I demanded sarcastically. "Well, the blushing bride just had another meltdown, and Jasper the puppy—I mean, groom—ran off to coddle her."

"Meltdown about what?" he asked, sounding actually somewhat concerned about the bullshit.

"The color of the flowers," I said dryly, shrugging.

Emmett burst into a fit of roaring laughter, drawing the attention of several people in the wedding party. "I hope my Rosie isn't like that when we get married," he said, wiping tears from his eyes as he finally finished his little outburst.

I sighed, glancing around the mansion. I grimaced, seeing it filled with a bunch wedding crap and all sorts of terrible decorations. Bunches of flowers and thick ribbon draped down the winding staircase. Frilly, girly centerpieces sat on every available surface. And the smell of overpowering popery hung thickly in the air.

_Flowers and ribbons and roses. Oh, my._

"I'm telling you...right now Uncle Carlisle is rolling in his grave," I told Emmett, being quite serious.

Emmett chuckled. "It's not so bad, man. Jasper's happy."

I sighed. "Yeah, for now," I said lowly.

As if he could hear us, Jasper descended the stairs...without Alice. I started to feel hopeful. Maybe the wedding had been called off... Maybe Jasper wouldn't be trapped after all. Maybe there was still time to take him under my wing and teach him the rules of women and how to, as Uncle Carlisle said, 'keep it light'.

"Hey guys," Jasper said, smiling slightly as us. He looked tired. He'd been dealing with too much of Alice's fucking drama. What the fuck was he gonna look like after ten years of this bullshit (assuming they even lasted that long)?

"Everything okay, Jazz?" Emmett asked him.

He nodded. "Oh, yeah, everything's just fine. Alice was just upset, but she's doing better now."

"Yeah, I saw her little tantrum," I said.

Jasper gave me a hard look. "Watch it, Edward. Don't start, okay?"

I sighed, tired of this conversation already. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some bridesmaids I must attend to," I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Emmett and Jasper shook their heads, laughing, and I was off to find Tanya...or Irina or Kate, whoever I happened upon first. Any one of them would do just fine to take care of my needs. I all but danced up the stairs. It was going to be a good night.

I walked the halls, wondering which rooms occupied this week's easy pussy. As luck would have it, Tanya's room was only a door or two down from mine. Perfect.

"And behind door number one we have..." I trailed off, knocking lightly on her door.

"Come in," I heard Tanya's voice call.

I did, and she jumped a little when she saw me.

"Expecting someone else?" I asked playfully.

She smiled nervously. "No, Edward," she said quickly, running her hands through her curly strawberry blonde hair.

I was busy eyeing her cleavage. "So, Tanya, I'm assuming you didn't bring a wedding date?" I asked, seeing only her luggage.

"No. I knew you'd be here," she purred, making her way over to me. She leaned in and pressed her lips to my ear. "I even waxed for you."

I would hate to tell her she wasn't being as alluring as she thought, but I was never one to kill the mood.

"Is that so?" I asked. Okay, let's hurry this up, Cullen. There are a lot of women here and only so much time.

"Oh, yes," she whispered, stepping closer to me and running her hand up my chest.

Someone cleared their throat behind us. Damn it. I took a step away from Tanya, officially cock-blocked.

We both turned to see none other than Bella Swan leaned up against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. "Tanya, we need you for the rehearsa.l," she said, completely ignoring me. I wondered how long she'd been standing there and how much she'd heard.

Tanya seemed annoyed by Bella's presence, but what woman wouldn't be? She certainly was a threat. Tanya, compared to Bella Swan, was chopped liver.

"I'll be there in a minute," Tanya all but growled at her before turning back to me and smiling, but my eyes were only on Bella which seemed to infuriate Tanya further.

Bella didn't move from her spot. "We're starting now," she told Tanya, sounding annoyed herself. She still wouldn't even look at me, and it actually started to kind of piss me off. But, God, she was still gorgeous as fuck. That hair and those curves never disappointed. And those eyes of hers, which were currently glaring at Tanya, should be one of the wonders of the world they were so beautiful.

"And I said-"

"Ladies, ladies, let's not fight," I intervened, putting my arms out between them.

Bella made a disgusted sound, glared at me, and left.

Shit, I guess she still hadn't forgiven me.

But now that I knew Bella Swan was here...the other bridesmaids were of no consequence.


End file.
